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Posts tagged ‘Humor’

Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi Visit Montana

Nancy Pelosi called Harry Reid into her office one day and said, “Harry, I have a plan to win back Middle America in 2014!”

“Great Nancy, but how?” asked Harry….

“We’ll get some cheesy clothes and shoes, like most Middle Class Americans wear, then stop at the pound and pick up a Labrador Retriever. Then, we’ll go to a nice old country bar in Montana and show them how much admiration and respect we have for the hard working people living there.”

So they did, and found just the place they were looking for in Bozeman, Montana.nancy pelosi and harry reid

With the dog in tow, they walked inside and stepped up to the bar.

The Bartender took a step back and said, “Hey! Aren’t you Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi?”

“Yes we are!” said Nancy, “And what a lovely town you have here. We were passing through and Harry suggested we stop and take in some local color.”

They ordered a round of bourbon for the whole bar, and started chatting up a storm with anyone who would listen.

A few minutes later, a grizzled old rancher came in, walked up to the Labrador, lifted up its tail, looked underneath, shrugged his shoulders and walked out.
A few moments later, in came another old rancher. He walked up to the dog, lifted up its tail, looked underneath, scratched his head and left the bar.

For the next hour, another dozen ranchers came in, lifted the dog’s tail, and left shaking their heads.lab

Finally, Nancy asked, “Why did all those old ranchers come in and look under the dog’s tail? Is it some sort of custom?”

Lord no,” said the bartender.

“Someone’s out there running around town, claiming there’s a Labrador Retriever in here with Two Assholes!”

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Elephant vs Car

elephant standing over small car

How an elephant scratches his balls!?

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Brave Kitten Stands Up to Dog

You really have to give this little kitty some credit for being so brave.
That Rottweiler didn’t stand a chance!
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Why Women Aren’t Mechanics

Why Women Arent Mechanics

Because she is wearing all white??? LOL

Questions for Tarzan

I was at the store yesterday, and I ran into Tarzan!

I asked him,”how it was going and if he was making any more movies.”

Tarzan and Jane

He told me, “me no longer make movies, me have severe Arthritis, both shoulders, and not swing from vine to tree”.

vines

I asked how Jane was doing? He told me, “Jane in bad shape, in nursing home, has Alzheimer’s and not recognizes anyone”. How sad!

tarzan and family

I asked about Boy,
And he told me “Boy, gone big city, get with bad women, on drugs and alcoholic; and only time hear from him, when in trouble or need something”.

Tarzan with animals

I asked about Cheeta, he beamed and said, “Cheeta do good. She marry lawyer, had plastic surgery, now live in White House!!!

cheeta m obama

cheeta 1

I know, something bad is going to happen to me!!!!!!!!!!

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MardiGras Costume Winner

MardiGra Costume Winner Peter Pan Indeed!

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Silly Dog Photo

dog tangled in window blinds

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