Never Lie To Your Mom

HAVING MOM OVER FOR DINNER You don’t even have to be a mother to enjoy this one…

Brian invited his mother over for dinner. During the course of the meal, Brian’s mother couldn’t help but notice how beautiful Brian’s roommate, Jennifer, was. Brian’s mom had long been suspicious of the platonic relationship between Brian and Jennifer, and this had only made her more curious. Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Brian and Jennifer than met the eye. Reading his mom’s thoughts, Brian volunteered, ‘I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you Jennifer and I are just roommates.’ About a week later, Jennifer came to Brian saying, ‘Ever since your mother came to dinner, I’ve been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle.You don’t suppose she took it, do you?’ Brian said, ‘Well, I doubt it, but I’ll send her an e-mail just to be sure”. So he sat down and wrote: Dear Mom, I’m not saying that you ‘did’ take the gravy ladle from the house, I’m not saying that you ‘did not’ take the gravy ladle. But the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner. Love, Brian Several days later, Brian received an email back from his mother that read: Dear Son, I’m not saying that you ‘do’ sleep with Jennifer, I’m not saying that you ‘do not’ sleep with Jennifer. But the fact remains that if Jennifer is sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now. Love, Mom

LESSON OF THE DAY – NEVER LIE TO YOUR MOTHER

Missing Grandma

The computer swallowed Grandma,
Yes, honestly it’s true!
She pressed ‘control and ‘enter’
And disappeared from view.
It devoured her completely;
The thought just makes me squirm.
She must have caught a virus
Or been eaten by a worm.
I’ve searched through the recycle bin
And files of every kind;
I’ve even used the Internet,
But nothing did I find.
In desperation, I asked Mr. Google
My searches to refine.
The reply from him was negative,
Not a thing was found ‘online.’
So, if inside your ‘Inbox,’
My Grandma you should see,
Please ‘Copy, Scan’ and ‘Paste‘ her,
And send her back to me.